Posts Tagged subtle fat jokes
Twitter!
Posted by Pork Flu Ribs in Uncategorized on July 7th, 2009
Does there exist elsewhere such an inappropriately sparse medium for a writer as overstuffed as Pete? Yes, Abraham has a twitter, and though its only real purpose is to link to blog updates, he sometimes uses it to gripe. Like this:
Hey, some Letterman monologue writer stole my Twitter comment on the hot-dog eating contest. Send me royalties.
Pete Abraham made a hot dog eating contest joke? Irony sirens are blaring in my ears as I write. What comment of his was “stolen” though?
The hot-dog eating contest is why other countries hate America. We’re a nation that finds gluttony entertaining.
Oh. It was just some boilerplate joke about the Nathan’s hot dog eating contest — the equivalent of bitching about airline peanuts. Were Letterman writers really scraping the bottom of the barrel?
Never mind that the guy who dominated the contest for several years is Japanese.
And more to the point, it’s just the latest in Pete’s long running war against anything fun or interesting. He takes exception to just about every ballpark tradition, from throwing the ball back when an opponent hits a homerun to the groundscrew doing YMCA.
…
Okay, so maybe he has a point about that last one. But still, he’s only in his 30s and he already has the “curmudgeonly journalist asshole” personality down pat. And it’s not like he covers politics and so has been rendered cynical by Washington horse trading — he covers a god damn sports team. Lighten up a bit, Pete.
Nah … Too Easy
Posted by Pork Flu Ribs in Uncategorized on June 4th, 2009
For some reason, this sign is currently hanging above the entrance of the Yankee Stadium Metro-North station:
Caption contest in the comments.
Projecting Much?
Posted by Pork Flu Ribs in Uncategorized on June 4th, 2009
One of Pete’s charms is that, although he constantly claims to be busy with ‘newspaper work’ during games, he has no end of time to delete critical comments and to engage in spats with his commenters.
During today’s game against Texas, fans were making critical comments about Wang’s sub-par return to the starting rotation. And thus Pete vomited up this juicy morsel:
Peter Abraham's Self-Awareness: 0
Peter Abraham has spent almost the entirety of his three-year tenure as Yankees beat writer for the Journal-News mocking, badmouthing, and advocating the trade of Alex Rodriguez. No one with a voice as influential as Pete’s (except for that tool at WasWatching, if you want to call him ‘influential’) has spit so much vitriol at the Yankees’ third baseman.
He delights in A-Rod slander. He ruts in it. He rolls in it and covers himself in it like a protective coating from the sun. For reasons I’m sure Freud would be overjoyed to analyze, Peter Abraham has centered his career around shrinking A-Rod. As Potato Chowder pointed out in the post below, he is still trying to make the discredited claims of Selena Roberts stick. This man is allegedly a professional, yet he continues to treat his blog as a venue for his personal vendettas.
“You must have a sad life when you take pleasure in the problems of other people.” So, true, Pete. So true.
The Plot, Like Abe, Thickens
Posted by Pork Flu Ribs in Uncategorized on May 26th, 2009
From The New York Post:
Talk about your sore losers!
Boston Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon took out his frustrations on Post photographer Anthony Causi Saturday night, hurling a towel at the lensman after blowing a save opportunity against the Mets.
Papelbon had just surrendered a two-run homer to backup catcher Omir Santos — leading to a 3-2 Amazin’ victory — when Causi had the audacity to do his job and photograph the closer as he sulked in the Sox dugout in the bottom of the ninth.
Papelbon screamed, “Don’t take my f- - -ing picture,” according to Causi, before throwing his towel at him
It should be noted: Papelbon missed Causi.
“I guess he missed with two pitches that night,” Causi cracked.
http://www.nypost.com/seven/05252009/news/regionalnews/red_rage__170861.htm
Rushing out of the dugout to show up the umpires is typically the grounds for, at the very least, a fine. Throwing a towel at a photographer doing his job is, arguably, worse. Yet somehow Jonathan Papelbon, Major League Baseball’s least likable human being, is escaping these incidents unscathed.
It’s a sweet life being on the teflon Red Sox.
David Eckstein Memorial Award
Posted by Green Cabbage in Uncategorized on May 16th, 2009
Brett Gardner: Had a single, an inside-the-parker and a triple to start the ninth-inning rally. Those who evaluate baseball only by numbers dismiss him. But when you actually watch the games, you realize he brings something to the table.
Yeah, I mean, you just can’t put a value to that HR, 3B, or 1B..
…
Oh, wait.
Peter Abraham comes to the realization that they don't literally mean eat all you can
Time Capsule
Posted by dead fish plate in Uncategorized on May 9th, 2009
According to Ham, the eyes of time will be the true judge of Alex Rodriguez, and in 20 years it will be judged whether his acquisition was a dumb move or not:
A-Rod said all the right things about focusing on baseball and wanting to win. But we’re heard that all before. His words were great, but his actions will tell the ultimate story. In 20 years, will the acquisition of A-Rod be looked upon as a smart move or a dumb one? Only time will tell.
Well, let’s go to the lab and see what we can deduct:
2 MVP Awards
209 Home Runs (and counting)
619 RBI
153 OPS+
I don’t think anyone that knows anything about baseball is going to argue that getting Alex Rodriguez to play baseball for the Yankees was a bad move, Abe.
Ham's LoHud co-workers gasp as his daily rations are "acquired".
Envy of the Enemy
Posted by EggFooYoung in Uncategorized on May 6th, 2009
Peter Abraham seems conflicted, caught between the worlds of the sports writer and the gossip columnist. Today’s post from P-Abe is titled “A-Rod’s final day in Florida?” and starts out rather predictably, noting that Alex has been coming closer to a return to the team by the day. The story then takes a darker turn, segueing into Madonna’s recent appearance at an NYC event, going after her fashion sense (at a party for the Costume Institute, no less) and then citing Wikipedia of all places as to a list of men that Madonna has dated.
Wow, Pete, project much?
This just smacks of jealousy to your humble reporter, and I’m guessing that Ham wasn’t the kind of guy who got the attention of the popular chicks in school. Or in college. Or professionally. Or anywhere the words “and extra cheese” aren’t commonly bandied about.
The right to bear claws?
Posted by Potato Chowder in Uncategorized on May 5th, 2009
Meanwhile, Girardi was jawing with Boston first base coach Tim Bogar in the top of the inning. Not sure what that is all about. Maybe Bogar is a fan of the First Amendment.
In two simple sentences, Abraham manages to attack Girardi, defend a fellow unscrupulous journalist (on the very day she was publicly clowned), and be eye-rolling, muted-trumpet unfunny.
Celebrity!
Posted by Pork Flu Ribs in Uncategorized on May 3rd, 2009
SHAMELESS PLUG: I’m going to be on WFAN at 10:25 p.m. this evening with Lori Rubinson talking about the Yankees. So tune in for her show.
Ah yes, the ever important 10-11 Sunday night spot. His presence is expanding!