Posts Tagged Peter Abraham

Twitter!

Does there exist elsewhere such an inappropriately sparse medium for a writer as overstuffed as Pete? Yes, Abraham has a twitter, and though its only real purpose is to link to blog updates, he sometimes uses it to gripe. Like this:

Hey, some Letterman monologue writer stole my Twitter comment on the hot-dog eating contest. Send me royalties.

Pete Abraham made a hot dog eating contest joke? Irony sirens are blaring in my ears as I write. What comment of his was “stolen” though?

The hot-dog eating contest is why other countries hate America. We’re a nation that finds gluttony entertaining.

Oh. It was just some boilerplate joke about the Nathan’s hot dog eating contest — the equivalent of bitching about airline peanuts. Were Letterman writers really scraping the bottom of the barrel?

Never mind that the guy who dominated the contest for several years is Japanese.

And more to the point, it’s just the latest in Pete’s long running war against anything fun or interesting. He takes exception to just about every ballpark tradition, from throwing the ball back when an opponent hits a homerun to the groundscrew doing YMCA.

Okay, so maybe he has a point about that last one. But still, he’s only in his 30s and he already has the “curmudgeonly journalist asshole” personality down pat. And it’s not like he covers politics and so has been rendered cynical by Washington horse trading — he covers a god damn sports team. Lighten up a bit, Pete.

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We Return!

First off, we apologize for our extended absence. We found a treasure map to Al Capone’s gold and decided spending weeks digging aimlessly in Illinois for hidden treasure would be more profitable than blogging. Although we found nothing, we were correct — futile searches for non-existant gold ARE still more profitable than blogging. However, it would be a shame to let this BR sponsorship go to waste just as The Hope is heating up. Thus, we return!

Abraham’s poor mastery of his profession beckons us always, however, particularly today in response to the umpires’ jobbing of the Yankees not once, not twice, but thrice!

It’s not going to do the Yankees any good, but it would seem that Foster and Bell will have to answer for their mistakes. No, they’re not going to be suspended or fined. But MLB does hold umpires far more accountable than in previous years.

It is characteristic of Pete’s hackery that he says something that at first glance sounds profound, even ominous, but which on a second reading is objectively absurd. Read the block quoted sentences again: The umpires screwed up. There will be no punishments meted out to them — no suspensions, no fines.  However, despite the lack of consequences for their poor job performances, MLB “holds umpires more accountable than in previous years.” It sounds to me like they do nothing of the sort.

Expecting Pete to engage with the material beyond a superficial nostrum, however, is expecting too much of his milquetoast brand of non-challenging journalism.

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Projecting Much?

One of Pete’s charms is that, although he constantly claims to be busy with ‘newspaper work’ during games, he has no end of time to delete critical comments and to engage in spats with his commenters.

During today’s game against Texas, fans were making critical comments about Wang’s sub-par return to the starting rotation. And thus Pete vomited up this juicy morsel:

Peter Abraham's Self-Awareness: 0

Peter Abraham's Self-Awareness: 0

Peter Abraham has spent almost the entirety of his three-year tenure as Yankees beat writer for the Journal-News mocking, badmouthing, and advocating the trade of Alex Rodriguez. No one with a voice as influential as Pete’s (except for that tool at WasWatching, if you want to call him ‘influential’) has spit so much vitriol at the Yankees’ third baseman.

He delights in A-Rod slander. He ruts in it. He rolls in it and covers himself in it like a protective coating from the sun. For reasons I’m sure Freud would be overjoyed to analyze, Peter Abraham has centered his career around shrinking A-Rod. As Potato Chowder pointed out in the post below, he is still trying to make the discredited claims of Selena Roberts stick. This man is allegedly a professional, yet he continues to treat his blog as a venue for his personal vendettas.

“You must have a sad life when you take pleasure in the problems of other people.” So, true, Pete. So true.

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Math vs. A-Rod

Honestly, I don’t know where to start on this. After Selena Roberts’s claims that A-Rod was tipping pitches were discredited by every single reputable source, Abraham still carries it like an idiot torch.

Here he cites a former beat writer:

Miguel Tejada, then with Oakland, hit .350 overall against the Rangers, but jumped to .472 when the margin was at least five runs either way. He had nine homers in 36 at-bats when the margin was at least five. Rodriguez, who hit .284 against Oakland overall, hit .333 when the score was five or greater.

Seattle’s Carlos Guillen, a teammate of Rodriguez’s for three seasons with the Mariners, went from .307 to .318. in “out of hand” situations. Rodriguez, however, jumped from .264 to .391 against the Mariners in those situations.

First of all, 36 at-bats? Second, of course your average is going to go up in blowouts. That’s when scrub pitchers are in and hitters are teeing off. But most interestingly, you’re telling me that you can tell Carlos Guillen exactly what pitch is coming and his average only goes up 11 points?

I should also point out that, by this criteria, a serious investigation should be organized to find out if Josh Beckett is tipping his pitches to Derek Jeter (.341 vs carreer .316) and if domed stadiums are tipping pitches to Sal Fasano (.240 vs career .221).

It should be noted that Peter Abraham has an honorary degree in Predictive Analytics from the University of Phoenix.

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There are no words

Man, what a shot. Yankees win, the Yankees win. Everybody goes home happy.

But did that moment give you pause, if only for a split second? Be honest. I’d be curious to hear what you think because I sure can’t come up with an answer.

Did anyone notice that he answered the question he posed?

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David Eckstein Memorial Award

Brett Gardner: Had a single, an inside-the-parker and a triple to start the ninth-inning rally. Those who evaluate baseball only by numbers dismiss him. But when you actually watch the games, you realize he brings something to the table.

Yeah, I mean, you just can’t put a value to that HR, 3B, or 1B..

Oh, wait.

Peter Abraham comes to the realization that they don't literally mean eat all you can

Peter Abraham comes to the realization that they don't literally mean eat all you can

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Ham extra spicy after devastating loss.

Leave it to the LoHud Journal’s finest beat writer to pick up the spirits of Yankee fans everywhere, or at least maintain some semblance of impartiality towards the team’s marquee player, in a time of need:

We have a winner! Funniest comment in LHYB history is revealed

From “Kingdome” at 11:21 p.m. this evening:

A-Rod will provide the leadership and heart this team needs. He is a winner and a leader. He will show us why he is the best player in baseball and what we missed the past month.

Congratulations. We’ve asked the Yankees to provide a prize and they said Kingdome can buy the $2,625 seat of his or her choice for the next game.

It is all there.  The derision of his own readership, the scathing wit regarding the Yankees front office, and the smouldering hatred for Alexander Emmanuel Rodriguez.

Intrepid reporter Peter Abraham risks life and corned beef sandwich to get a picture of the Great Leader

Intrepid reporter Peter Abraham risks life and corned beef sandwich to get a picture of the Great Leader

Update Friday May 08th, 9:46 PM -  WELL, WELL, WELL, look who showed up and decided to tell CC how to fucken pitch and also won the game with a HR!

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Envy of the Enemy

Peter Abraham seems conflicted, caught between the worlds of the sports writer and the gossip columnist.  Today’s post from P-Abe is titled “A-Rod’s final day in Florida?” and starts out rather predictably, noting that Alex has been coming closer to a return to the team by the day.  The story then takes a darker turn, segueing into Madonna’s recent appearance at an NYC event, going after her fashion sense (at a party for the Costume Institute, no less) and then citing Wikipedia of all places as to a list of men that Madonna has dated.

Wow, Pete, project much?

This just smacks of jealousy to your humble reporter, and I’m guessing that Ham wasn’t the kind of guy who got the attention of the popular chicks in school.  Or in college.  Or professionally.  Or anywhere the words “and extra cheese” aren’t commonly bandied about.

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The right to bear claws?

Meanwhile, Girardi was jawing with Boston first base coach Tim Bogar in the top of the inning. Not sure what that is all about. Maybe Bogar is a fan of the First Amendment.

In two simple sentences, Abraham manages to attack Girardi, defend a fellow unscrupulous journalist (on the very day she was publicly clowned), and be eye-rolling, muted-trumpet unfunny.

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Celebrity!

SHAMELESS PLUG: I’m going to be on WFAN at 10:25 p.m. this evening with Lori Rubinson talking about the Yankees. So tune in for her show.

Ah yes, the ever important 10-11 Sunday night spot. His presence is expanding!

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